Called to Common Mission: An Episcopalian living Lutheran
By Archangelica | January 20, 2009
Salutations!
All of us are on a journey. All of us are seeking to find our place in the world and while we quest and move through the mystery and the meaning of life, the Eternal One sends us companions for the journey. These companions comfort, encourage and sometimes challenge our perspectives. It is my belief that life is a kind of gift exchange and the people who come alongside of us on our life-path, those who walk closely with us through valleys of shadow and seasons of light, are wise ones bearing good and holy gifts. These soul-friends have the potential to interrupt our lives in strange and wonderful ways.
My own journey has led me from the Piney Woods of East Texas to the glittering hills of Hollywood, from the magic of Manhattan to the quiet cornfields of Nebraska, from history haunted New Orleans to the spired cathedrals of Oxford, back to Texas and now here to Rochester and to all of you. It is my great honor to be invited to be your companion on the Journey and in ministry with children, youth and families. It is my hope that we will do big and small things with great love.
For the past sixteen years I have worked with children, youth and families in many contexts. Some of my work has included: teaching Pre-School/Head Start, assisting with Vacation Bible School, teaching English as a second language to grade school Hispanic children, leading after school programs, creating summer camp programs for at-risk youth, Community Relations Manager with Barnes&Noble Booksellers, writing a grant for and helping with Equine Assisted Therapy (providing horsemanship experiences for struggling youth to enhance the quality of their lives), served as Youth Services Coordinator for children, youth and families infected or affected by HIV/AIDS, been a private duty caregiver and hospice volunteer, cared for adults with special needs, taught Sunday School, served as Director of Christian Education and Children’s, most recently was Youth Director for a group of multi-racial youth at a Cumberland Presbyterian Church, and completed a yearlong internship in hospice chaplaincy.
I am a strong believer and advocate for developing and nurturing the life of the mind and am committed to being a lifelong learner. Learning to think theologically has been a grand and glorious adventure into Great Ideas. To that end I have: earned a Child Development Associate from Eastfield College, studied the classics for three years at the College of St. Thomas More (A Great Books School), spent a summer abroad in Oxford taking a course on Shakespeare and lyric poetry, earned a Certificate of Biblical Studies from Tyndale Seminary and just completed a two year program earning the Certificate of Theological Studies from the Center for Biblical Studies at Dallas Theological Seminary. I am currently in a degree completion program via distance learning with St. Andrew’s Theological College and Seminary and hope to pursue graduate level studies at either Colgate Rochester Divinity School or St. Bernard’s Institute.
In 2007 I received the graces and the courage to answer a call to live a consecrated religious life as a Brother and member of a Religious Order. I had been running from this call since I was sixteen years old, afraid of what saying yes to God in such a radical way might mean. Consecrated life is a way of being in the world. My community is named Anamchara Fellowship (www.anamcharafellowship.org ). Anamchara is Gaelic (ancient Irish) for soulfriend. We are rooted in the Episcopal Church but are open to members from any Christian denomination who feel called to this way of life. The Fellowship is part of a global revival and reinterpretation of Religious Life called The New Monasticism. Our members may be single, married or partnered. This way of life was created for people who wish to combine the contemplative and the active life. Members of these emerging Christian Communities are “in the world and not of the world, but for the world.” We live in whatever providential circumstances God gives us, but we wholly consecrate our lives to God through vows of simplicity, fidelity and obedience. We are the newest vocation in the Church, and many say this kind of religious life is the vocation of the new millennium.
More than fifty years ago Dietrich Bonheoffer (renowned Lutheran theologian) predicted that the renewal of the Western church would come from a new monasticism whose only connection to traditional monasticism would be Jesus’ Sermon on the Mount (Matthew 5-7). He wrote:
“…the restoration of the church will surely come only from a new type of monasticism which has nothing in common with the old but a complete lack of compromise in a life lived in accordance with the Sermon on the Mount in the discipleship of Christ. I think it is time to gather people together to do this…”
Anamchara Fellowship is one community among many seeking to live into this bold vision. Brothers and Sisters are fallible, sinful and imperfect men and women who; with God’s grace, live ordinary lives in extraordinary ways.
In my Community it is our custom to maintain the ancient and venerable tradition of wearing a habit as an outward sign and symbol of our inward commitment to Gospel values. The habit may be worn at all times but is especially encouraged whenever and wherever we are engaged in worship or ministry. The habit is a silent sermon visually reminding both the wearer and the watchers of the invisible realities of the spiritual life. More than this; the habit is a radical, counter-cultural sign and symbol, standing out like a “green thumb” so that others will know that we are always available to help, to listen, to pray and to serve. Finally, the habit is a symbol of our baptismal promises: “My soul shall rejoice in the Lord, for He has clothed me with the garment of righteousness and has covered me with a robe of gladness….” (Isaiah 61:10) To wear the habit is to dress with the joy of the Lord!
I rejoice in being called to serve with and alongside all of you at Atonement Lutheran Church as your new Youth and Family Minister. I look forward to a fun and faithful relationship and gift exchange as we walk in the Way of Jesus together. Above all else, I am enthusiastic and excited about partnering with you to provide children, youth and families with soul nurturing experiences and opportunities to become deep adorers of God, committed followers of Jesus, and bold doers of loving-kindness, justice and mercy.
My goal is that every person I minister to and with is known, loved, cared for and discipled. To my way of thinking, youth and family ministry is about speaking blessing into the lives of others, building relationships with them and pointing them to Jesus.
Some of you have already met my partner of almost five years, Kevin Fuller. Kevin is a native son of Rochester and we moved here mostly to be closer to family (we’ve had so much fun enjoying many Holiday activities and events with the nieces and nephews!) and to live in a more progressive and inclusive city and culture. Kevin works in website design and business development and says that I am an analog soul in a digital age! You won’t see him in church too often as he is a self described “reverent agnostic” but so far he thinks Atonement Lutheran Church is the friendliest church he’s ever been too and he’s been to lots as my partner! We have both been blessed and deeply moved by your warm welcome and beautiful hospitality.
Thank you for inviting me to minister with you in servant leadership as together we “grow in the grace and knowledge of our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ. To him be the glory both now and to the day of eternity. Amen. (2 Peter 3:18)
In Christ Our Lord,
Br. Christopher Cleveland
My Installment Reception January 4, 2009
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Finding My Vocation (a sermon given at St. John Cumberland Presbyterian Church)
By Archangelica | July 15, 2008
Let me begin by answering the obvious question: “What on earth is he wearing and why?” First know that this has nothing to do with the worship drama the youth and I will soon be performing. This garment is the outward symbol of an inner journey I have been on all my life, traditionally it is called a habit, the habit is a kind of uniform worn by religious Brothers and Sisters, men and women who have consecrated their lives to God through vows or promises. Like all uniforms the habit seeks to convey a message of purpose and identity. Much like the uniforms worn by members of the Salvation Army or the clerical collar worn by many priests and ministers, the habit reminds the wearer of their commitment to Christ; it is also a silent sermon and witness of Christian love to an ever increasing secular society and finally, it shows that I am available should anyone need a helping hand or a listening ear.
Allow me to share a little of my spiritual journey with you. For the past six months I have been an Aspirant a kind of candidate pursuing admission into the vowed religious life of a Brother. It has been a time of intense spiritual preparation, study, examination and soul searching. I had interviews with my Pastor, the Episcopal Bishop of the diocese of Dallas and my Spiritual Director…all of whom had to write letters of recommendation for me. I had to write a detailed and deeply personal spiritual autobiography (including not just my sense of calling and my testimony but my areas of weakness, struggle and character defects). I read many books on Celtic spirituality and contemporary religious life and wrote a reflection paper demonstrating a beginners understanding of Celtic spirituality and theology. I met privately with the Spiritual Director for the Fellowship and finally, as part of the last part of the application process, participated in a panel interview with the Abbess, the Asst. Abbess and the Pastor to the Fellowship who questioned me about my sense of calling and vocation, my strengths and weaknesses and the desires of my heart.
On Friday, May 16th at 5:30 p.m. during the service of Evening Vespers, I was clothed and received as a novice Brother into the Religious Community of Anamchara Fellowship. Anamchara is a Gaelic word, from the ancient Celtic language (think of St. Paul’s letter to the Galatians in the Bible) and it means “soul friend”. We are a Christian Fellowship of “soul friends” modeled on Celtic spirituality and theology which comes from the early church in and around Scotland, Ireland and Wales (interestingly much of the Presbyterian and Reformed faith is rooted in Celtic history as well) The Fellowship is a religious order of men and women who feel called to totally dedicate their lives in service to Christ and His Church through vows of simplicity, fidelity and obedience. While rooted in the Episcopal Church the fellowship is open to all members of any Christian denomination who seek to walk the old paths of traditional religious life as lived in convents and monasteries in a new way adapted to the 21st century. Our members may be married, single or partnered and are self supporting, most living in their own homes and doing ministry in their local communities. Four of our Sisters have chosen to live in community at our Motherhouse in Delaware. We come from all walks of life and all parts of the country. At present our Fellowship includes: a lawyer and his wife who is a hospice volunteer, a hospital chaplain, an accountant, a Director of Christian Education in a large Philadelphia church, several Grandmothers, a psychologist, a husband and wife who work together at an Aquarium in Virginia Beach, a college professor who teaches literature, a stay at home mom, a social worker, a professional church musician, a Red Cross employee, a deacon, a nurse, a librarian and now me…a seminary student, Youth Director and hospice chaplain intern.
Being a novice can be likened to being engaged. A novice makes promises, not vows, and seeks to grow in love, wisdom and maturity for a period of 18 months to three years after which, if both the Fellowship and the novice feel it is God’s will, the novice will then profess solemn vows in a beautiful ceremony in their home church and become a full member of the Fellowship. Professed members wear a slightly different habit; the triquetra (which I will explain shortly) is replaced by a Celtic cross and the leather belt is replaced with a white cincture…a kind of rope belt with three knots symbolizing the three vows of simplicity, fidelity and obedience.
Once a year the Fellowship comes together for our annual retreat (which we call Gathering) at the Spirituality Center of a beautiful monastery outside of Philadelphia. Although it’s a retreat it feels like a family reunion. We spend the week together praying morning, midday and evening vespers each day, sharing meals, listening to and learning from our guest preacher, singing, studying the Bible, celebrating Holy Communion, going for long walks on the lush monastery grounds, sharing the stories of our lives and our ministries, encouraging one another, playing dominoes, laughing and enjoying a week of spiritual refreshment, rest and rejuvenation. It is a holy and happy time to be gathered in friendship with fellow companions on a journey into the sacred heart of Jesus.
Ever since I was 16 years old I felt called to this life. I felt God’s tug on my heart to serve him as a Brother even before I even knew Brothers existed or had ever met or seen one. Finally, at age 39 I found the courage and the grace to stop running and to say yes to the God who calls to each of us: 24 Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. 25 For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. 26 For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? 27 For the Son of Man will come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and then He will reward each according to his works.
The life of a Brother is a way of being in the world. It is my path, my vocation— God’s call on my life. Although the call to follow Christ is universal, the particular way in which one lives out this call is unique. St. Paul tells us in his letter to the Corinthians: 4There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. 5There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. 6There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men.
This habit I wear, this uniform is a sign and a symbol of Who I belong to, and of what I seek to make my life about. “I must decrease and He must increase.” It may be worn always and everywhere but according to the constitutions and customary of the Fellowship it is required to be worn for public worship and when engaged in ministry. So most Sunday’s you will see me wearing and trying to grow into it and other times I’ll be dressed in ordinary street wear. May this habit always remind you of at least two things: First and most importantly I need your prayers and second I am here and available to serve, to listen, to help and to pray for all of you in any way I can: be that taking out the trash or giving a ride to a doctor’s appointment.
Signs and symbols are of little use if we don’t understand what it is they seek to convey. The robe I am wearing is called an alb and it is a simple cotton and linen robe symbolic of the white robes or christening gowns most all of us wore or will wear at our baptism. The Confession of Faith of the Cumberland Presbyterian Church says this about baptism: “Baptism symbolizes the baptism of the Holy Spirit and is an external sign of the covenant which marks membership in the community of faith. In this sacrament the church witnesses to God’s initiative to claim persons in Christ, forgive their sins, grant them grace, shape and order their lives through the work of the Holy Spirit, and set them apart for service.” We are only baptized once but we spend our whole lives growing into the fullness of its meaning. This robe is a visible reminder of my baptism and of yours.
The green part of my habit is called a scapular and it has its origin in perhaps the humblest of all garments…the apron. It is a sign and symbol of servant ministry. 1 Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that His hour had come that He should depart from this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end.
2 And supper being ended,[a] the devil having already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, to betray Him, 3 Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and was going to God, 4 rose from supper and laid aside His garments, took a towel and girded Himself. 5 After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded. 6 Then He came to Simon Peter. And Peter said to Him, “Lord, are You washing my feet?”
7 Jesus answered and said to him, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but you will know after this.”
8 Peter said to Him, “You shall never wash my feet!”
Jesus answered him, “If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me.”
9 Simon Peter said to Him, “Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head!”
12 So when He had washed their feet, taken His garments, and sat down again, He said to them, “Do you know what I have done to you?
13 You call Me Teacher and Lord, and you say well, for so I am.
14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet.
15 For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you.
16 Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him.
17 If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.
So this scapular is a sign of my call and commitment to servant ministry. Like the alb it is a call and a commitment that I will spend my whole life learning to grow into. So why is it green? Sister Barbara Jean, the founder of Anamchara Fellowship had been a traditional nun in a traditional Episcopal convent for 29 years before being called by God to create a new and fresh expression of religious life open to all Christians. She thought and dreamed and prayed about what the new Fellowship’s habit might look like. She knew one thing for sure…it would not be black. She had worn black for 29 years as a nun and so she was done with black! The answer came to her one day while walking, God seemed to have a favorite color that He used in creation more than any other…green: the color of life, growth, renewal and hope and the darker green, the color of our scapulars, is symbolic of the Evergreen. In summertime there is no noticeable difference between evergreens and other trees; but when the blasts of winter come, the evergreens remain unchanged (think of Christmas trees, holly, majestic redwoods, pine trees) while other trees are stripped bare. Through winter, snow and ice the Evergreen is radiant and beautiful. Jesus is like that, his love is Evergreen…in Him we have life and life eternal.
Perhaps the most important piece of this garment is the symbol worn around my neck. It is of ancient Celtic origin and used often in church architecture, embroidery and design. It was the official Christian symbol chosen by the publishers of the New King James edition of the bible to be stamped in gold on its spine. Paul, in his wonderful sermon last Sunday laid the groundwork for me today, unbeknownst to him, as he explained to us the meaning of this symbol in his sermon on the Trinity. This medal is called a triquetra and it represents the Holy Trinity, that belief and mystery about the Godhead held in common by all Christians: one God in three persons, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Although we do not speak of it as often as we should, the Trinity is a core doctrine of Christianity. We are baptized into the Church “in the name of the Trinity as commanded by Christ Himself in Matthew 28:19. Theologian Karl Barth says that “Trinity is the Christian name for God.” Furthermore, because scripture tells us that we are made in the image of God, the Trinity tells us something essential about our own selves: we are body, mind and spirit. Perhaps my favorite definition of the Trinity comes from Tertullian, an Early Church Father from North Africa, he wrote in the 2nd century: God the Father is a deep root, the Son is the shoot that breaks forth into the world, and the Spirit is that which spreads beauty and fragrance.
The habit is a hard thing to wear. It stands up for Jesus even when the wearer would prefer to sit down and blend in. Even when I am silent it sings, “I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back. When I am wearing the habit I am literally wearing my heart on my sleeve. It says too: “How can I encourage you today?” “Tell me how I can be of service to you.” “How can I pray for you?” and most importantly, “Jesus loves you.” This habit is the uniform of a servant. It most certainly does not mean I am more spiritual than you, or holier or better in any way. In fact, it means that I am the least among you. So you see the habit is packed full of powerful symbolism. It is an outward sign of interior belief, a public profession of faith in Christ. Underneath this garment is a very ordinary man who desires to spend the rest of my life serving an extraordinary God. I will fall, I will fail and I will make mistakes…disciples have a tendency to do that. And he hath said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my power is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Being a Brother is my vocation, the life path I feel called to walk. A vocation is deeper and different from an occupation. The idea of vocation is central to the Christian belief that God has created each person with gifts and talents oriented toward specific purposes and a way of life. Your vocation or calling is the way your life speaks. Unlike your occupation, you may or may not get paid for it but you do it because you must, it is what makes your heart sing. An example: you may have a vocation as a musician, making music (either by singing, playing an instrument or composing) is the call you sense for your life. It may be that you will be able to combine your occupation with your vocation and get paid to make music. This is not always the case with a vocation though. You may be a musician who earns his paycheck by being a fry cook. You cook for a living but you live to make music. See how this works?
For 23 years I ran from God’s call and listened to the lies of the Enemy and to my own fears and doubts which said: you’re not good enough, holy enough, pure enough, spiritual enough…I ran to people, places and things I thought for sure would show God how unfit I was for this vocation but he never stopped calling and finally, I had run myself ragged. Like the Prodigal Son one day I “came to myself”, I had a moment of clarity. I was ready to say yes and God met me with compassion, cleaned me up, through a party and brought out the best robe and dressed me in it, put a ring on my finger and welcomed me home. Where God leads he feeds! God never asked me to be good enough, or holy enough, or pure enough, or spiritual enough those are all things God has to do in me. None of us can do them for ourselves! All he asked of me was my willingness. It took 23 years for me to get to “yes, speak Lord for your servant is listening.” But I got there and I stand before you today a novice Brother with more hope and love and happiness than my heart can hold. I still have miles to go in front of me but my days of wandering in the wilderness have been exchanged for a spiritual adventure with a map and companions for the journey! I am not now what I yet may be, but the journey has just begun. You’re on this journey with me! For some reason God thinks you and I need each other, that why I’m here and someone else isn’t. God thinks we have gifts to share with each other, lessons to learn and ministry to do! As Christians we do not believe in accidents. Our God is a sovereign God and all things happen according to Divine Providence. I am so grateful to serve as your ministry partner as the Youth Director at St. John. I give thanks and honor the willingness, the sacrifice and commitment, the gifts and talents of our youth: Abigail, Caleb, Sirri, Ndaih, Arah, Jim, Junior, Stephanie, Halle and Ian. I honor and give thanks also to their parents who sacrifice so their children can participate in the life of this church and grow into the kind of men and women God is calling them to be in the world.
Everyone sitting in this church today has a vocation. God has a unique plan and call for each and every life. Some of you know your vocation and are living it. Marriage and parenthood are two of the most glorious vocations. It is especially important that on this Youth Sunday we encourage our young people to think about who they will be in the world and not just what they will do in the world. Ask God in the quietness of your own heart what his will is for your life. Be open to feedback and insights from the people in your life who may see giftedness in your life that you’ve never noticed. Ministry and church service are two more vocations. Might God be calling someone sitting here today into ordained ministry, Christian Education, missionary work, mercy ministries, preaching, teaching or writing for the glory of God? Some of you here today have been running from your vocation even longer than I ran from mine! If today you hear his voice will you harden not your heart? Has God been tugging at your heart trying to get your attention? Is there a dream for your life that you have been too afraid to answer? Do you feel like you’re too old or that too much time has passed to finally embrace the vocation that has followed you like a shadow through the years? So long as you have the breath of life in you it is never too late to say yes to God. There is still hope!
Here is my challenge to all of you. Very soon we will share together in the Lord’s Supper, the sacrament of Holy Communion. Christ is spiritually present in this sacred meal, how He is present is a subject Christians of all stripes have been debating and fighting over for centuries. That Christ is present in this ordinance Presbyterians have never denied. John Calvin, the Father of all who call themselves Presbyterian and Reformed said this about the Lord’s Supper: We must confess, then, that if the representation which God gives us in the Supper is true, the internal substance of the sacrament is conjoined with the visible signs; and as the bread is distributed to us by the hand, so the body of Christ is communicated to us in order that we may be made partakers of it. Though there should be nothing more, we have good cause to be satisfied, when we understand that Jesus Christ gives us in the Supper the proper substance of his body and blood, in order that we may possess it fully, and possessing it have part in all his blessings. For seeing we have him, all the riches of God which are comprehended in him are exhibited to us, in order that they may be ours. Thus, as a brief definition of this utility of the Supper, we may say, that Jesus Christ is there offered to us in order that we may possess him, and in him all the fullness of grace which we can desire, and that herein we have a good aid to confirm our consciences in the faith which we ought to have in him.
The precious memory of his sacrificial love is re-presented in this Gospel ordinance as we taste and see that God is good. When you meet him today as you partake in this holy mystery, open your heart to His loving embrace, ask Him to reveal to you God’s dream for your life. If you’ve been running from your vocation stop and rest in his perfect will and ask for the courage to say yes. If your spiritual life has grown lukewarm, ordinary, boring or stale, ask him in this Blessed Sacrament to wake you from your slumber, stop your drift, and breathe new life into your spirit. Attending church on Sunday is good, necessary and our bounden duty but it no more makes you a Christian than me standing in my garage makes me a car! Ask Christ to give you the grace and the courage to go deeper. Adults, are you attending Sunday morning bible study? If not, why not? Are you involved in a personal ministry of some kind? What is the state of your prayer life? How are you being of service to your fellow man who is suffering, struggling, hurting, in this church, in your neighborhood, at school. Husbands are you cherishing your wives? Wives are you honoring your husbands. Let each of us in our own hearts ask in this Supper for the grace and the courage to say yes to something! May God give you the grace never to sell yourself short; grace to risk something big for something good; grace to remember that the world is too dangerous for anything but truth and too small for anything but love. So, may God take your minds and think through them; may God take your lips and speak through them; may God take your hearts and set them on fire. Amen.
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Adventures Of A Sunday School Teacher
By Archangelica | April 2, 2008
This past Sunday we had our first one room Sunday School class for children ages 4-12. After months of planning, preparation, creating, decorating and praying we did it! Five wonderful children were dropped off by still sleepy parents at 9:00 a.m. to listen to God stories, wonder out loud with questions and comments, sing while holding hands in a circle, color and create a cross for the room, make new friends, light candles at our homemade altar, pray, share and plant flower seeds for our Community Garden. We read the “Legend of the Three Trees” and talked about Jesus and dreams and seeds of hope that grow into new life. Each child selected two kinds of flowers from a variety of heirloom seeds and filled their seedling flats with soil, sprinkled seeds on the fresh soil, covered with more dirt and sprayed with a water bottle to which a natural growth stimulator was added. All of these were placed in a mini-greenhouse while we watch and wait for them to do the unseen work of growth. Today I went to evening services and checked on the now three day old seedlings, two had already sprouted a soft green tendril with two tiny leaves! “Very truly, I tell you, unless a grain of wheat falls into the earth and dies, it remains just a single grain; but if it dies, it bears much fruit.” (John 12:24)
In this, our first activity together, we planted seeds that will grow into all sorts of flowers: fancy, frail, plain, lavish, short, tall, bushy, regal. We find our own selves reflected back to us in their petal faces. All of the spritual life is contained in this simple activity; birth, growth, struggle, stretch, nourish, hunger, reach, care, nurture, blossom, bloom, wilt, wither, die. From this new seeds will be born and from them new life.
What is the use of these flowers? They are not edible, no hungry will be fed from them. They cannot be spun into socks for cold feet or warm winter sweaters. They cannot be harvested to build a home for the homeless. These flowers will not cure sickness, create peace, or save souls but they have a vocation! They will be picked and gathered in small batches and single stems to be taken, along with Holy Communion, to those in our parish who are sick, to the homebound and to those in hospital. They will be bearers of beauty, symbols of love, goodwill ambassadors. They have an incredible destiny. Can you see the surprised faces of their receivers? “These are from the garden the children planted. Remember we love you and are missing you.” Useless beauty indeed.
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My Gratitude List
By Archangelica | March 7, 2008
I give thanks for:
Kevin J (my eternal sassafrasstic companion, my thorn, my rose, my best and forever friend)
Raelynn Scott (my soul friend, my mentor, my spiritual companion, my sister in God)
My Mother (lifegiver, hurt me, hurt by me, forgiver, forgiven, forever)
My Father(may he rest in peace)
My Brother (wounded, tender hearted, seeker, precious)
My Church (Episcopal, welcoming, lavish, just, imperfect, beautiful, hopeful, inspiring, transforming, ancient, future, faith)
St. Thomas the Apostle Episcopal Church (loving, merciful, holy, happy, family, eclectic, joyous, growing, challenging)
Jesus (my God and my all, Divine Mercy, Sacred Heart, Love, Wayshower, Redeemer, Teacher, God with us, present)
God (Infinite, Eternal, Mystery, Creator, Ground of Being, Spirit of the Universe, Fount of Life, One, Majesty, Glory)
Holy Spirit (Fire, Wind, Breath, Oil of Gladness, always dancing, illumination, inspiration, insight, wisdom, Sophia)
Life (lumps, bumps and all. Being is good!)
Health (I am living with a chronic illness, emphasis on living,)
Anamchara Fellowship (my Community of Brothers and Sisters, a way of being in the world, a spiritual adventure, quest,community, prayer, simplicity, fidelity, obedience, hospitality, contemplation, connection, Celtic spirituality)
My Cats (Terfel and Jolson, fur people, loving, playful, snuggly, staunch characters)
My Vocation (”He hath shown thee, O man, what is good; and what doth the Lord require of thee, but to do justly, and to love mercy, and to walk humbly with thy God.”) Micah 6:8
My Past (all the people, places, things and experiences; including the awful and the awesome, that have made me my unique self. I forgive, I cherish, I remember, I embrace)
My Present (who I am today, now, in this moment, living one day at a time, beautiful and broken, made in the image of God, learning, growing, aware, enough)
My future (possibility, strong, fragile, hopeful, potential, holiness, wholeness, acceptance, sorrow, mirth, freedom, eternity)
Knowledge and Learning (books, school, study, the life of the mind, experience, teaching, wonder, wisdom)
Nature (drenched and dappled with divinity, alive, revelation, diversity, panentheism, delight, terrible, awe, evolving)
Humanity (children of God, cousins of angels, stewards of creation, cruel, kind, one family, fallen, blessed, war, peace)
Gardens, the Good Earth, Flora and Fauna, Trees, the Sea, Birds and Beasts, Butterflies, Ladybugs, Fireflies, Childhood Memories, Grandparents, Galaxies, Sun, Moon and Stars, Rivers and Lakes, Minnows, Dolphins, Sea-Horses, Starfish, Turtles, All Living Things (except wasps, snakes, stinging things, fire ants, roaches, and other mean, bitey, hurty bugs!)
Soft Breezes, Twilight, Thunder and Lightning, Storms, Showers, Snow, Wind Chimes, Gusts, Sunrise, Moonlight, Kites, Airplanes, Spaceships, Sattelites, Wind, Sky Through Branches, Icecicles, Ice Cream, Snow-Cones, Snowmen, Snow Angels.
Choirs, Candles, Incense, Stained Glass, Ritual, Devotion, Solitude, Icons, Prayer, Good Preaching, Pipe Organs, Fellowship, Worship, Adoration, Intercession, Quiet, Splendor, Eucharist, Hugs, Holy Water, Poetry, Chant, Inspiration.
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Close the gate behind you…
By Archangelica | January 6, 2008
Every new year, like every new day, is a fresh opportunity to begin again. This new year is already sparkling for me like sunlight on water. I am becoming more fully myself. I am looking with more gentleness and forgiveness on a past littered with more trash than the last day of mardi gras. I am dusting off and holding with forgotten fondness and affection all the people, places and things that were treasures and memories and seeds of hope that have grown into flowers, vines and even a few trees in the garden of my heart. I am letting go of vintage pain , grudges and unforgiveness that have kept me stuck to the wounds of my past. This is the year for all those ghosts and lingering spirits to go into the Light.
I am pulling weeds in winter (easy to do in Texas) and planting seeds and bulbs and tasting the strange sweet fruit that has grown and ripened in the dirt of my life. Some things growing here are too new to be named others have flourished from childhood like the marigolds that border the strawberry patch. I planted those with my grandmother as a child. They have survived. I am making room for new growth, some annuals and some perennials, in a determined effort to overcome the grey and the barren with the good and the true. My hands are deep in the earth, the essence of my life, tossing away rocks and stones and breaking up the soil that is cracked and hard where nothing has ever grown. Their is dirt under my nails and sweat in my eyes. Tomorrow my back will hurt. But the fallow days are done and this hard work feels good in my bones as some of my sweat drips into the soil from which new life will come.
I’ve noticed some changes that lead me on. There are more birds now that stop to sing or drink or forage for their breakfast. There are fewer crows and grackles that come to kill, steal and destroy. Mine is a wild garden that wants to be proper and lush and serene. It needs more roses and one day there will be lily-of-the-valley in the shade by Our Lady’s statue of moss gilded stone. I have a vision. Lately too there have been more butterflies and for the first time in many summers I spotted three fireflies on a July night. The wasps nests have been fewer (I hate wasps and stinging things!) and every once in a marvelous while, a ruby throated hummingbird comes for a flower communion.
Still, there are parts of my garden I shouldn’t like for you to see. There are parts I don’t like seeing. There are patches of overgrown ugliness with thistles and stickers and broken glass ground into the dirt. But I have picked up the cigarette butts and this may be the year I start picking out the glass (with gloves on of course). I’ve built a very fine fence around this eyesore and I keep it locked so no one wanders in. The problem with the fence is that I keep out too! This is the year to get in there and root it all up to be tossed in the burning barrel. I don’t think I can do it by myself though. I’m going to have to ask for some help.
There are some parts of my garden that are several square feet of “just lovely”. I come here to think and to pray and to ponder. It seems I am my best self here and it’s a good place for tea parties and picnics and tall glasses of pink lemonade. The other day a bluebird flew in and looked at me with one cocked eye before swishing off in a dazzle of blue. Of all the birds that come here he is my favorite. I’d like for him to stay long enough to sing one day. I think I’ll build a bluebird house and hang it on one of the old fence posts. I’ll have to get a book from the library to learn how to do it. Imagine if he came more often and brought some friends. Imagine if he moved in and had babies and raised a family and there were always bluebirds in the garden. That would be heaven.
The spiritual life is an interior garden. Eden is on the inside.
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