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Finding My Vocation (a sermon given at St. John Cumberland Presbyterian Church)
By Archangelica | July 15, 2008
Let me begin by answering the obvious question: “What on earth is he wearing and why?” First know that this has nothing to do with the worship drama the youth and I will soon be performing. This garment is the outward symbol of an inner journey I have been on all my life, traditionally it is called a habit, the habit is a kind of uniform worn by religious Brothers and Sisters, men and women who have consecrated their lives to God through vows or promises. Like all uniforms the habit seeks to convey a message of purpose and identity. Much like the uniforms worn by members of the Salvation Army or the clerical collar worn by many priests and ministers, the habit reminds the wearer of their commitment to Christ; it is also a silent sermon and witness of Christian love to an ever increasing secular society and finally, it shows that I am available should anyone need a helping hand or a listening ear.
Allow me to share a little of my spiritual journey with you. For the past six months I have been an Aspirant a kind of candidate pursuing admission into the vowed religious life of a Brother. It has been a time of intense spiritual preparation, study, examination and soul searching. I had interviews with my Pastor, the Episcopal Bishop of the diocese of Dallas and my Spiritual Director…all of whom had to write letters of recommendation for me. I had to write a detailed and deeply personal spiritual autobiography (including not just my sense of calling and my testimony but my areas of weakness, struggle and character defects). I read many books on Celtic spirituality and contemporary religious life and wrote a reflection paper demonstrating a beginners understanding of Celtic spirituality and theology. I met privately with the Spiritual Director for the Fellowship and finally, as part of the last part of the application process, participated in a panel interview with the Abbess, the Asst. Abbess and the Pastor to the Fellowship who questioned me about my sense of calling and vocation, my strengths and weaknesses and the desires of my heart.
On Friday, May 16th at 5:30 p.m. during the service of Evening Vespers, I was clothed and received as a novice Brother into the Religious Community of Anamchara Fellowship. Anamchara is a Gaelic word, from the ancient Celtic language (think of St. Paul’s letter to the Galatians in the Bible) and it means “soul friend”. We are a Christian Fellowship of “soul friends” modeled on Celtic spirituality and theology which comes from the early church in and around Scotland, Ireland and Wales (interestingly much of the Presbyterian and Reformed faith is rooted in Celtic history as well) The Fellowship is a religious order of men and women who feel called to totally dedicate their lives in service to Christ and His Church through vows of simplicity, fidelity and obedience. While rooted in the Episcopal Church the fellowship is open to all members of any Christian denomination who seek to walk the old paths of traditional religious life as lived in convents and monasteries in a new way adapted to the 21st century. Our members may be married, single or partnered and are self supporting, most living in their own homes and doing ministry in their local communities. Four of our Sisters have chosen to live in community at our Motherhouse in Delaware. We come from all walks of life and all parts of the country. At present our Fellowship includes: a lawyer and his wife who is a hospice volunteer, a hospital chaplain, an accountant, a Director of Christian Education in a large Philadelphia church, several Grandmothers, a psychologist, a husband and wife who work together at an Aquarium in Virginia Beach, a college professor who teaches literature, a stay at home mom, a social worker, a professional church musician, a Red Cross employee, a deacon, a nurse, a librarian and now me…a seminary student, Youth Director and hospice chaplain intern.
Being a novice can be likened to being engaged. A novice makes promises, not vows, and seeks to grow in love, wisdom and maturity for a period of 18 months to three years after which, if both the Fellowship and the novice feel it is God’s will, the novice will then profess solemn vows in a beautiful ceremony in their home church and become a full member of the Fellowship. Professed members wear a slightly different habit; the triquetra (which I will explain shortly) is replaced by a Celtic cross and the leather belt is replaced with a white cincture…a kind of rope belt with three knots symbolizing the three vows of simplicity, fidelity and obedience.
Once a year the Fellowship comes together for our annual retreat (which we call Gathering) at the Spirituality Center of a beautiful monastery outside of Philadelphia. Although it’s a retreat it feels like a family reunion. We spend the week together praying morning, midday and evening vespers each day, sharing meals, listening to and learning from our guest preacher, singing, studying the Bible, celebrating Holy Communion, going for long walks on the lush monastery grounds, sharing the stories of our lives and our ministries, encouraging one another, playing dominoes, laughing and enjoying a week of spiritual refreshment, rest and rejuvenation. It is a holy and happy time to be gathered in friendship with fellow companions on a journey into the sacred heart of Jesus.
Ever since I was 16 years old I felt called to this life. I felt God’s tug on my heart to serve him as a Brother even before I even knew Brothers existed or had ever met or seen one. Finally, at age 39 I found the courage and the grace to stop running and to say yes to the God who calls to each of us: 24 Then Jesus said to His disciples, “If anyone desires to come after Me, let him deny himself, and take up his cross, and follow Me. 25 For whoever desires to save his life will lose it, but whoever loses his life for My sake will find it. 26 For what profit is it to a man if he gains the whole world, and loses his own soul? Or what will a man give in exchange for his soul? 27 For the Son of Man will come in the glory of His Father with His angels, and then He will reward each according to his works.
The life of a Brother is a way of being in the world. It is my path, my vocation— God’s call on my life. Although the call to follow Christ is universal, the particular way in which one lives out this call is unique. St. Paul tells us in his letter to the Corinthians: 4There are different kinds of gifts, but the same Spirit. 5There are different kinds of service, but the same Lord. 6There are different kinds of working, but the same God works all of them in all men.
This habit I wear, this uniform is a sign and a symbol of Who I belong to, and of what I seek to make my life about. “I must decrease and He must increase.” It may be worn always and everywhere but according to the constitutions and customary of the Fellowship it is required to be worn for public worship and when engaged in ministry. So most Sunday’s you will see me wearing and trying to grow into it and other times I’ll be dressed in ordinary street wear. May this habit always remind you of at least two things: First and most importantly I need your prayers and second I am here and available to serve, to listen, to help and to pray for all of you in any way I can: be that taking out the trash or giving a ride to a doctor’s appointment.
Signs and symbols are of little use if we don’t understand what it is they seek to convey. The robe I am wearing is called an alb and it is a simple cotton and linen robe symbolic of the white robes or christening gowns most all of us wore or will wear at our baptism. The Confession of Faith of the Cumberland Presbyterian Church says this about baptism: “Baptism symbolizes the baptism of the Holy Spirit and is an external sign of the covenant which marks membership in the community of faith. In this sacrament the church witnesses to God’s initiative to claim persons in Christ, forgive their sins, grant them grace, shape and order their lives through the work of the Holy Spirit, and set them apart for service.” We are only baptized once but we spend our whole lives growing into the fullness of its meaning. This robe is a visible reminder of my baptism and of yours.
The green part of my habit is called a scapular and it has its origin in perhaps the humblest of all garments…the apron. It is a sign and symbol of servant ministry. 1 Now before the Feast of the Passover, when Jesus knew that His hour had come that He should depart from this world to the Father, having loved His own who were in the world, He loved them to the end.
2 And supper being ended,[a] the devil having already put it into the heart of Judas Iscariot, Simon’s son, to betray Him, 3 Jesus, knowing that the Father had given all things into His hands, and that He had come from God and was going to God, 4 rose from supper and laid aside His garments, took a towel and girded Himself. 5 After that, He poured water into a basin and began to wash the disciples’ feet, and to wipe them with the towel with which He was girded. 6 Then He came to Simon Peter. And Peter said to Him, “Lord, are You washing my feet?”
7 Jesus answered and said to him, “What I am doing you do not understand now, but you will know after this.”
8 Peter said to Him, “You shall never wash my feet!”
Jesus answered him, “If I do not wash you, you have no part with Me.”
9 Simon Peter said to Him, “Lord, not my feet only, but also my hands and my head!”
12 So when He had washed their feet, taken His garments, and sat down again, He said to them, “Do you know what I have done to you?
13 You call Me Teacher and Lord, and you say well, for so I am.
14 If I then, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also ought to wash one another’s feet.
15 For I have given you an example, that you should do as I have done to you.
16 Most assuredly, I say to you, a servant is not greater than his master; nor is he who is sent greater than he who sent him.
17 If you know these things, blessed are you if you do them.
So this scapular is a sign of my call and commitment to servant ministry. Like the alb it is a call and a commitment that I will spend my whole life learning to grow into. So why is it green? Sister Barbara Jean, the founder of Anamchara Fellowship had been a traditional nun in a traditional Episcopal convent for 29 years before being called by God to create a new and fresh expression of religious life open to all Christians. She thought and dreamed and prayed about what the new Fellowship’s habit might look like. She knew one thing for sure…it would not be black. She had worn black for 29 years as a nun and so she was done with black! The answer came to her one day while walking, God seemed to have a favorite color that He used in creation more than any other…green: the color of life, growth, renewal and hope and the darker green, the color of our scapulars, is symbolic of the Evergreen. In summertime there is no noticeable difference between evergreens and other trees; but when the blasts of winter come, the evergreens remain unchanged (think of Christmas trees, holly, majestic redwoods, pine trees) while other trees are stripped bare. Through winter, snow and ice the Evergreen is radiant and beautiful. Jesus is like that, his love is Evergreen…in Him we have life and life eternal.
Perhaps the most important piece of this garment is the symbol worn around my neck. It is of ancient Celtic origin and used often in church architecture, embroidery and design. It was the official Christian symbol chosen by the publishers of the New King James edition of the bible to be stamped in gold on its spine. Paul, in his wonderful sermon last Sunday laid the groundwork for me today, unbeknownst to him, as he explained to us the meaning of this symbol in his sermon on the Trinity. This medal is called a triquetra and it represents the Holy Trinity, that belief and mystery about the Godhead held in common by all Christians: one God in three persons, Father, Son and Holy Spirit. Although we do not speak of it as often as we should, the Trinity is a core doctrine of Christianity. We are baptized into the Church “in the name of the Trinity as commanded by Christ Himself in Matthew 28:19. Theologian Karl Barth says that “Trinity is the Christian name for God.” Furthermore, because scripture tells us that we are made in the image of God, the Trinity tells us something essential about our own selves: we are body, mind and spirit. Perhaps my favorite definition of the Trinity comes from Tertullian, an Early Church Father from North Africa, he wrote in the 2nd century: God the Father is a deep root, the Son is the shoot that breaks forth into the world, and the Spirit is that which spreads beauty and fragrance.
The habit is a hard thing to wear. It stands up for Jesus even when the wearer would prefer to sit down and blend in. Even when I am silent it sings, “I have decided to follow Jesus, no turning back, no turning back. When I am wearing the habit I am literally wearing my heart on my sleeve. It says too: “How can I encourage you today?” “Tell me how I can be of service to you.” “How can I pray for you?” and most importantly, “Jesus loves you.” This habit is the uniform of a servant. It most certainly does not mean I am more spiritual than you, or holier or better in any way. In fact, it means that I am the least among you. So you see the habit is packed full of powerful symbolism. It is an outward sign of interior belief, a public profession of faith in Christ. Underneath this garment is a very ordinary man who desires to spend the rest of my life serving an extraordinary God. I will fall, I will fail and I will make mistakes…disciples have a tendency to do that. And he hath said unto me, My grace is sufficient for thee: for my power is made perfect in weakness. Most gladly therefore will I rather glory in my weaknesses, that the power of Christ may rest upon me.
Being a Brother is my vocation, the life path I feel called to walk. A vocation is deeper and different from an occupation. The idea of vocation is central to the Christian belief that God has created each person with gifts and talents oriented toward specific purposes and a way of life. Your vocation or calling is the way your life speaks. Unlike your occupation, you may or may not get paid for it but you do it because you must, it is what makes your heart sing. An example: you may have a vocation as a musician, making music (either by singing, playing an instrument or composing) is the call you sense for your life. It may be that you will be able to combine your occupation with your vocation and get paid to make music. This is not always the case with a vocation though. You may be a musician who earns his paycheck by being a fry cook. You cook for a living but you live to make music. See how this works?
For 23 years I ran from God’s call and listened to the lies of the Enemy and to my own fears and doubts which said: you’re not good enough, holy enough, pure enough, spiritual enough…I ran to people, places and things I thought for sure would show God how unfit I was for this vocation but he never stopped calling and finally, I had run myself ragged. Like the Prodigal Son one day I “came to myself”, I had a moment of clarity. I was ready to say yes and God met me with compassion, cleaned me up, through a party and brought out the best robe and dressed me in it, put a ring on my finger and welcomed me home. Where God leads he feeds! God never asked me to be good enough, or holy enough, or pure enough, or spiritual enough those are all things God has to do in me. None of us can do them for ourselves! All he asked of me was my willingness. It took 23 years for me to get to “yes, speak Lord for your servant is listening.” But I got there and I stand before you today a novice Brother with more hope and love and happiness than my heart can hold. I still have miles to go in front of me but my days of wandering in the wilderness have been exchanged for a spiritual adventure with a map and companions for the journey! I am not now what I yet may be, but the journey has just begun. You’re on this journey with me! For some reason God thinks you and I need each other, that why I’m here and someone else isn’t. God thinks we have gifts to share with each other, lessons to learn and ministry to do! As Christians we do not believe in accidents. Our God is a sovereign God and all things happen according to Divine Providence. I am so grateful to serve as your ministry partner as the Youth Director at St. John. I give thanks and honor the willingness, the sacrifice and commitment, the gifts and talents of our youth: Abigail, Caleb, Sirri, Ndaih, Arah, Jim, Junior, Stephanie, Halle and Ian. I honor and give thanks also to their parents who sacrifice so their children can participate in the life of this church and grow into the kind of men and women God is calling them to be in the world.
Everyone sitting in this church today has a vocation. God has a unique plan and call for each and every life. Some of you know your vocation and are living it. Marriage and parenthood are two of the most glorious vocations. It is especially important that on this Youth Sunday we encourage our young people to think about who they will be in the world and not just what they will do in the world. Ask God in the quietness of your own heart what his will is for your life. Be open to feedback and insights from the people in your life who may see giftedness in your life that you’ve never noticed. Ministry and church service are two more vocations. Might God be calling someone sitting here today into ordained ministry, Christian Education, missionary work, mercy ministries, preaching, teaching or writing for the glory of God? Some of you here today have been running from your vocation even longer than I ran from mine! If today you hear his voice will you harden not your heart? Has God been tugging at your heart trying to get your attention? Is there a dream for your life that you have been too afraid to answer? Do you feel like you’re too old or that too much time has passed to finally embrace the vocation that has followed you like a shadow through the years? So long as you have the breath of life in you it is never too late to say yes to God. There is still hope!
Here is my challenge to all of you. Very soon we will share together in the Lord’s Supper, the sacrament of Holy Communion. Christ is spiritually present in this sacred meal, how He is present is a subject Christians of all stripes have been debating and fighting over for centuries. That Christ is present in this ordinance Presbyterians have never denied. John Calvin, the Father of all who call themselves Presbyterian and Reformed said this about the Lord’s Supper: We must confess, then, that if the representation which God gives us in the Supper is true, the internal substance of the sacrament is conjoined with the visible signs; and as the bread is distributed to us by the hand, so the body of Christ is communicated to us in order that we may be made partakers of it. Though there should be nothing more, we have good cause to be satisfied, when we understand that Jesus Christ gives us in the Supper the proper substance of his body and blood, in order that we may possess it fully, and possessing it have part in all his blessings. For seeing we have him, all the riches of God which are comprehended in him are exhibited to us, in order that they may be ours. Thus, as a brief definition of this utility of the Supper, we may say, that Jesus Christ is there offered to us in order that we may possess him, and in him all the fullness of grace which we can desire, and that herein we have a good aid to confirm our consciences in the faith which we ought to have in him.
The precious memory of his sacrificial love is re-presented in this Gospel ordinance as we taste and see that God is good. When you meet him today as you partake in this holy mystery, open your heart to His loving embrace, ask Him to reveal to you God’s dream for your life. If you’ve been running from your vocation stop and rest in his perfect will and ask for the courage to say yes. If your spiritual life has grown lukewarm, ordinary, boring or stale, ask him in this Blessed Sacrament to wake you from your slumber, stop your drift, and breathe new life into your spirit. Attending church on Sunday is good, necessary and our bounden duty but it no more makes you a Christian than me standing in my garage makes me a car! Ask Christ to give you the grace and the courage to go deeper. Adults, are you attending Sunday morning bible study? If not, why not? Are you involved in a personal ministry of some kind? What is the state of your prayer life? How are you being of service to your fellow man who is suffering, struggling, hurting, in this church, in your neighborhood, at school. Husbands are you cherishing your wives? Wives are you honoring your husbands. Let each of us in our own hearts ask in this Supper for the grace and the courage to say yes to something! May God give you the grace never to sell yourself short; grace to risk something big for something good; grace to remember that the world is too dangerous for anything but truth and too small for anything but love. So, may God take your minds and think through them; may God take your lips and speak through them; may God take your hearts and set them on fire. Amen.
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July 15th, 2008 at 9:47 pm
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